Good
morning dear new world!
During this
period in which I have been absent I have written some poems that are waiting
to be uploaded. But I realize they are quite different from the rest… and I don’t
want to upload them without saying all these things that could possibly explain
this change:
I’m living
a landmark in my live. This is the first moment in my live in which I realize how
proud I am of who I am, who I have been and who I am becoming.
I’m doing now
the things I had to do many years ago because NOW I feel strong enough to do
them and that is extremely important to me in order to cure my “little”
disease. I’m discovering a new world, almost literally!! With new people, new hobbies,
new opportunities and experiences that I’m going to remember my whole life!
Among other things I’m finishing my degree (that’s why I have been so quiet
these days xD) and many doors that I always thought were closed are now opening
and I’m upset about all the things I’m capable to do.
Of course I
continue with my treatment. But I’m sick and tired of the pills and I’m working
hard in order to give them up and don’t need them little by little. Self-harm is not a solution for my anxiety
anymore!! Because I’m not feeling guilty
of anything, and I confront my problems and the troublemakers of my life with
all the violent and that I used to vent cutting my own flesh. Cowardice isn’t part
of my personality, bravery arrived to defeat it. I’m not and I won’t kowtowing to
anyone anymore neither! I’m not the same Anne who started writing this blog…
Regarding
love…which has always been an important issue of my life, I have decided to
stop the search for the right person and stop also wasting tears for people
that doesn’t even care about my existence! xD how silly I have been…! I was
living before knowing them, so I can continue with my life without them… and
with the passing of time I have realize that I am even better without them. You
have to throw the rubbish out of your house every day, don’t you? That’s what I’m
doing now…throwing the rubbish out of MY sweet modest home, and I love the
smell of cleanliness. My father have
always said “I don’t love anyone who doesn’t love me, because they don’t deserve
it” and although I have heard him many times saying the same I have never
listened to it until now.
No more
tears. No more blood. No more past. I like this new world, and I’m ready to go
out and eat it and NOONE is going to stop me never again. The path of my journey doesn’t have a way
back, only walking forward is allowed.
Kisses and hugs are the only gift that I can gave to the few people that read my blog! Thank you, specially today, for being there!
Anne Frank
